If only
by Ice Fox priestess
Summary: It's hard enough watching someone you love in pain.But when you have to cause them more.......What I did to you to live was wrong......Contains yaoi:No Flaming


This is told through Mr.Grimms POV.

Contains some ending spoliers,I guess.

Disclaimer:I don't own Twisted Metal

Note:NO FLAMING!

If you don't like don't read!

this is yaoi and like I said if you don't like don't

read.

NO FLAMING!

Vengence.

Finally.

Dinner for one.

Getting my revenge on him did help ease the pain of losing my mind.

It was all his fault.

All his.

It was all his fault Benny died.

My only love.

Killing him didn't ease the pain of losing Benny.

Nothing ever would.

Why?

I...I...never got to tell him exactly

how I felt.

Never got to make love to him,

The beatiful thing he was.

Everything happened to soon.

Was shipped to 'Nam to soon.

Lost everything.

I've went all this way...

for the man who made me lose everything.

Everything that mattered.

Made me lose my sanity,lose Benny...

Turn me into a cannable.

That man destroyed my life.

Thirty years...

Thirty years is so long a time to be without

someone.

Someone you loved.

Benny...

What I did to you was wrong.

What I did to you to live was wrong.

God I'm sorry.

It was sick.

You didn't deserve that.

You didn't deserve any of it.

I still love you.

What I wouldn't give...

You were such a good friend.

Oh,Benny.

I wish I had been the one who died.

I've went through all these people...

All them wanting something.

Not just for me for you.

I just wanted to protect you...

I've survived all these years for this moment.

Vengence.

Sweet release.

I still want you so much.

I...I...wish I had you.

Oh if I did...

I can't ever move past you.

Oh god sometimes I wish I could.

But you are and were much to important

to me, to ever forget.

I think about those horrible days we spent in

agony a lot.

I think about all those things a lot.

But sometimes I remember those happy

times before I lost you.

God,I miss you.

I can't stop thinking about you.

I always do.

Can't ever stop.

If only...you hadn't have died.

We would still be togather.

Sometimes I act like you never passed

away.

Pretend your there.

I really am physco.

Those happy times...

Only happy meomories I cared to keep

with me.

Yeah...

God,makes me remember the asylum.

I was one of the calm ones though.

Never hurt nobody.

Never did anything wrong.

Always listening.

Never disobeyed.

Well,I guess that doesn't matter to them

Pain.

It was all pain.

Why?

Sometimes I would wake up screaming

your name.

Probaley made them think I was even more

crazy.

I still do that.

Every day I miss you more and more.

Damn that man !

Why you?

Why...

You didn't deserve that!

My Benny...

Are you lonely?

Do you miss me?

When your dead can you still...

see me?

Do you care?

Why couldn't you have been mine?

Even just thinking about you fills me with such deep

longing.

And he took that away from me.

And you...

He deserved this.

Hit across the head...

Ax...

I'll eat every single fucking bit of him for you!

No reason to waste.

You deserved revenge,baby.

You deserved the world.

I wish I could give it to you.

I would sell my soul to the devil for you

to come back.

I'm so sorry.

I shouldn't have let that happen...

Its all my fault.

No,mine.

All of it.

Every bit.

His too but...

Goddamn...

WHY?

WHY?

Why,why,why?

I want to be able to love you.

I want to be close to you.

I want to touch you and say everything

will be alright.

Tell you everything will get better.

I want to hold you.

I want to take away your pain.

I'd carry it for you.

I want to love you.

Losen the burden.

I want to make love to you.

To taste you...

My dear,sweet Benny.

It's been so long since...

Since...

I've almost forgotten how your face looks.

And mine.

This mask isn't coming off anytime soon.

Something they learned the hard way.

Got me sent to that asylum.

It was a nice day yesterday.

Haven't seen one of those in a long time.

The sun shone for once.

There wasn't even a hint of the thick,black smog

we hated.

So nice...

The water glistened and sparkled.

It looked like thousands of tiny gems.

Reminded me of the time we went over

to the water.

The time you held my hand.

I'll never forget that day.

We were so happy.

Laughing,smiling...

I wish it was still like that.

Benny...

Did...did you really love me?

I remeber the times you said you did.

But did you really mean it?

I meant it every time.

Still do.

I wish we could have been so much closer.

God,I want to cry.

I want to scream.

BENNY!

I love you...

I really do...

Sometimes I can't help myself.

Your eyes,your hair,your lips,you body...

You had to be the most god damned beautiful

thing that has ever walked the earth.

I get lost in myself thinking about you.

Hell,you were perfect.

In every way.

Acually,I probaley didn't deserve you.

No one did.

You were to good for any of them.

There's nothing I can do though.

Nothing at all.

All I can do is miss you.

And hope.

That maybe...I can meet you when...

I do...die...

Just for a moment to meet him...

Maybe...Maybe...

I was lucky to confess my feelings before it

happened.

"Benny?"

"Um,yeah?"

"I love you.I really do.Just remeber that.

Never forget it no matter what happens."

"I...love you to.

And I promise I will never forget."

I was lucky just to know you.

Benny...

I love you.

I really do.

Please.

Never forget that.

End.

(so what did you think?

It sucked I know)


End file.
